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毕业季,还是分手季?
时间:2016-06-04      作者:     来源:      浏览次数:3477

Li Yi felt his heart breaking into pieces. The 25-year-old traffic engineering major at Beijing Jiaotong University stared at the text message from his girlfriend, who had just broken up with him. It made his already bittersweet graduation even more painful.25岁的李毅(音译)就读于北京交通大学交通运输工程系,当他看着女友发来的分手短信时,感觉自己心碎一地,这给他本已喜忧参半的毕业季又平添了几许凄凉。

Many students experience great difficulties in their relationship when they graduate from college. Experts say it is a result of their impatience in overcoming love-related problems and a lack of planning in their love life.很多大学生在毕业时都会面临情感危机,专家表示,这往往是因为大学生在处理情感问题上缺乏耐心,在情感生活中没有规划。

Painful parting甜蜜开始 伤心分离

Having been together for seven years, Li and his girlfriend always tried to make their relationship work. But their biggest challenge came when Li got a job at a State-owned company, which promised him a Beijing hukou (household registration).李毅和女友已经在一起七年时间了,他们努力维持着彼此的感情。但是当李毅签约一家可以解决北京户口的国企时,感情危机爆发了。

His girlfriend, however, hadn’t found a job offering her such an opportunity, so she decided to return to her hometown in Jiangsu province.他的女友并未找到这样可以解决户口的工作,因此她决定回江苏老家发展。

“My chance of getting a Beijing hukou was a burden on our relationship,” Li says. “My girlfriend told me that a hukou means a stable and promising future for me, but without it she has to go her separate way.”李毅说:“北京户口竟成了我们感情的负担,我女朋友说北京户口意味着我可以有一个稳定光明的前程,而没有北京户口的她只能另走他路

Zhang Danyu also broke up with her boyfriend recently. The 22-year-old accounting student at Shanghai University did so because her boyfriend is going to study abroad for two years.22岁的张丹语(音译)就读于上海大学会计学专业,她最近也遭遇恋情告吹,原因是男友将要出国留学两年。

“I don’t know whether I can bare the loneliness of a long-distance relationship, especially when he is in a different county,” she says.张丹语说:“我不确定我能否忍受异地恋的孤单寂寞,特别是这样一段跨国恋。

Besides, she’s afraid that his overseas experience will grant him a different view of the world than her. “If that’s the case, we can no longer communicate smoothly as we did in the past,” she says.此外,她也担心海外求学的经历令男友的视野更广阔,从而拉开他们之间的距离。如果那样的话,我们就不能像以前那样顺畅地沟通了。她说。

Easy way out最简单的方式 最痛苦的选择

According to Xia Xueluan, professor of sociology at Peking University, students break up because it’s the easiest choice.北京大学社会学系教授夏学鸾认为,大学生之所以会选择分手,是因为那是一条最简单的解决办法。

“In graduation season, couples often face two problems: They will go to different places, and they will cultivate different world views due to their different social and work experiences,” he says. “Both problems are difficult for students to overcome. Therefore, breaking up is regarded as the easiest option.”他说:“情侣们在毕业季时往往会面临两个难题:一是他们要各奔东西,二是由于不同的工作经验与社会阅历,他们的世界观也各异。而面对这两大难题,学生们往往束手无策,因此分手就成了最简单的解决方式

Zhang Jiarui, a relationship expert at Jiayuan.com, believes that students’ tendency to break up in graduation season is also the result of a lack of planning in their love life.来自世纪佳缘交友网的情感专家张佳芮(音译)认为,大学生之所以容易在毕业季时选择分手,也是感情生活缺乏规划所致。

“Most of them rarely think about marriage. Even worse, they don’t yet have an idea of who their ideal spouse is,” she says. “Under these circumstances they show little responsibility toward their college relationship.”她说:“大多数大学生在谈恋爱时很少考虑结婚的问题,更糟糕的是,他们甚至都不清楚自己的理想伴侣是什么样子的,在这种情况下,他们对于自己的大学恋情几乎没有什么责任感。

But Lei Wuming, professor of psychology at Wuhan University of Technology, says students should not avoid college relationships just because they may fail. “The purpose of being in a relationship is not merely getting married, but learning to communicate with people of the opposite sex. No matter how their college relationship ends, students will have learned important skills,” he says.然而武汉科技大学心理学教授雷五明则认为,大学生不能因为恋爱可能告吹就对大学恋情避之不及。他说:“谈恋爱的目的不仅仅是为了结婚,也是为了学习如何与异性相处。不管大学恋情以何种方式结束,学生们都能从中获得重要的经验

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